One of the first things Angie asked me was a very bold question. "In what way are you blind, deaf, or lame?" In other words, how do you need healing? (Don't we all need healing at certain times throughout our lives?) Immediately I thought of the relationship between my son and daughter and me. Two of my kids are adopted. I missed their first years of life and had struggled to develop a bond with them. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for this and punished myself daily for not loving them "enough."
Angie helped me to see what I could not see, that I had in actuality done a very heroic thing in adopting internationally, especially a child with health problems. My seeing only where I lacked was blinding me to the whole picture.
One day, not long after this, I sat with my son eating lunch. He and I were alone and we started a conversation about heroes. I asked him who his hero was. I guessed, "Is it a super hero?" "Is it Abraham Lincoln?" (I knew he was really enjoying hearing a story about him that day.) He answered no to all of my guesses. "Well, son, then who is your hero?"
His answer completely stunned me. He said, "My hero is you, Mom."
Tears came to my eyes. After swallowing a few times and letting that really sink in, I responded, "Me? Why am I your hero?"
Very sweetly and softly he answered, "Because you saved me."
Suddenly my heart was bursting with love for this child and gratitude for a loving Father in Heaven who answered my prayer. I wept that day and was healed inside and out. I realized that we all make mistakes in our mothering, yet we are loved anyway. We are saved anyway.
Cathy
